I sit here on a Saturday staring at my computer. I have so much on my heart to share, but I don’t know where to start. Afraid that what I would write, may not be encouraging to you, I do nothing.
Why? I ask myself. Why do I do this?!
Monday – Friday; after taking my husband to work I spend 30 glorious minutes declaring and praying God’s truth over my life, family, and community. And/or I read scripture out loud as I walk around in my house.
Isaiah 64:8 (AMP)
Yet, O Lord, You are our Father; We are the clay, and You our Potter, and we all are the work of Your hand.
Have you ever worked with clay? Remember back in art class how we would get a brick of clay to create whatever we pleased. If you were like me, you’d envisioned great masterpieces only to end up with a bowl or cup; as most of the class. But still, our specific bowl/cup was unique. Because as we worked with the gray mass our own finger prints were embedded in the piece. Making it exclusive.
Do not be anxious or worried about anything, but in everything [every circumstance and situation] by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, continue to make your [specific] requests known to God.
Have you ever gone to pull what looked like a simple little weed, only to struggle with it because the roots go much deeper than you originally perceived? Well that is what I experienced this past week.
For two or three week leading up to last Saturday I have been feeling somewhat melancholy. I am not sure if it is because that I am moving yet again, or feeling somewhat unaccomplished with endeavors that I have been pursuing the past 12 months. Either way I have been working on keeping my eyes on things above and not focusing on my roller coaster emotions.
I suppose I am good at denying that things that happen, or don’t happen, affect me. I just keep telling myself that God is a good God and I shouldn’t feel disappointed, that good things are ahead for us. Then I got some news that shook my world. I seriously, felt that my feet where kicked out from under me. Though the news I received was exciting for the individual that shared it, I couldn’t process it that way.
As I was trying to process, remembering the words shared, I tried hard to see the positive. But all I could see (feel) was I had to “let go” to allow them to follow their dreams. Seriously I couldn’t find my feet back on solid ground for several days. One moment I am going through the cabinets packing for the move, and the next I was sobbing from some place deep within. I really couldn’t put my finger on it but something was different about this. I have experienced many disappointments in my life and have been able to work through them rather quickly. But not this time. I was crushed.
Our God is so good!
SIDE NOTE: The Bible study that I just worked through by Bill Johnson is called; God is Good. But I was not able to go to last Tuesday session titled; God’s goodness is an anchor in mystery, tragedy and disappointment on April 4th. And as much as I searched on YouTube for the video of the last session I could not find it. Making one last attempt to search for the session, easily pulled up in the search. I was listening to it (hitting pause and rewinding to write down these simple -yet profound points) I felt comfort and encouraged in the things being taught. I was not able to finish the session before having to leave the house to fulfill a prior commitment I had made, but left everything at my desk to get back to it. Upon returning I reviewed the notes that I had taken. That is when the phone call came in. All I can say is that I am so thankful that the lesson was in the forefront of my thoughts as the words filter through. God is so good, HE knew that I needed to have this lesson fresh in my mind when this call came in.
Even though I was really trying to apply the principals of what I had learned (grieving is okay as long as it leads you to peace that comes from the Lord) I wasn’t finding HIS peace. Then all the sudden I sensed God say to me: “Georgia this I not the same…, it isn’t as before.”
I then realized that my self-talk was the same talk I had back in 1981. It didn’t dawn on me that my emotions (extreme sadness) was rooted in the past and not in the present. The lies that I was believing had stolen my joy and security in this situation. It was easy to believe that the ‘lie’ was true because it was rooted in my past experience.
I hope this makes sense to you.
How many times do we react to a situation (or person) not even realizing that it is our past circumstances that we are responding to? I found myself not being able to handle a situation that most people would find it to be ‘no big deal’. And I knew that I wasn’t handling the ‘news’ in a proper way, or the way I would normally. Something was different, and I was being swallowed up with grief. I needed the Lords perspective. Once He showed me the truth of what is ‘now’ I was then able to see the lie and then I could break the agreement I had with the lie. It totally change my mindset. And there it was! GOD’S PEACE!!
So, how can you glean from my experience?
I would like to suggest that if you find yourself experiencing emotions that does not come from the Spirit: LOVE, JOY, PEACE, etc. (Galatians 5:22) stop and ask Papa God where it is coming from. More than likely it is coming from a hurtful place of your past. GOD will reveal ‘weed’ (He is good that way) so that you can pull it out. And don’t be surprised if that ‘little weed’ has long roots.
Love and Hugs gg~
Here I am again at the end of the year, perusing over the past 12 months of journal entries. Surveying the goals that I had set for myself and thinking about the things I want to achieve in 2017.
To be completely honest with you; I have fallen short of the three big goals that I had set for myself. In my disappointment, I couldn’t help to feel the sting in my heart. Talking to myself I verbalized; “Well Lord, I had good intentions.” Then sitting at the kitchen table, quietly crying, I asked myself; “What is the point to write out my goals if I am not able to attain them?”
All of the sudden I was interrupted in my own thoughts and Papa God dropped this in my heart: ‘Georgia your good intentions are not like my intentions. You equate the unfulfilled promises you set for yourself as the same way I do things. It is not. I am a promise keeper. Remember the things I have shown you. Remember the words I have given you. The purposes I designed you for has been set since before you were born. The call on your life is irrevocable. So again, do not compare my ways to your ways.’
I thought over these words and realized, hidden deep in my heart I was believing a lie about what my destiny looks like. I have been looking at my future as if it was something that I dreamed up, and it was totally up to me to achieve this huge vision I have. Feeling overwhelmed by this grand destiny I see, I try to attempt this or that, which never seem to amount to much (by my standards). But this isn’t true at all! Everything that has happened this past year has been growing me.
Yes, there are projects that are sitting on the back burner but they are not lost. They may not be completed but they are started, and one is close to completion. Am I where I want to be? No. Not at all, but I am still moving forward. Am I able to minister to people that I have met? Yes. I sincerely love those that I have met, making room in my heart and being genuine in the way I try to help them. Among this list of achievements, I also intercede for the things in my community. Praying the Lord’s prayer; His will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
I may not have been able to “check off” those things I listed January 1, 2016, I can take inventory of the things I have gained; new friends, more understanding, and even acquired unique experiences to help me navigate through life.
I read a good article by Graham Cooke: Look back to accelerate forward that listed six questions that helped me evaluate 2016 and to map out 2017. I found it to shed light as I looked back the past 365 days. It is a short read and I hope you find it as helpful as I did.
http://brilliantperspectives.com/look-back-to-accelerate-forward/
So, my dear friends I pray that you may you experience God’s love in a new, personal way.
HAPPY NEW YEAR, and continue stepping into your destiny!