The Lord laid it on my heart the end of last year, that my husband and I would be making a transition. I didn’t know what that meant for my husband and I, but I knew something exciting was going to happen. Then in March he got a new job, which we would be moving to Tennessee; three states away which excited me.
I knew that the things would move quickly and we would have to prepare however I gave my employer (a non-profit organization) a 30-day notice. I love the ministry so it’s somewhat hard for me to say goodbye. Two weeks before I moved to be with my husband I woke up from a dream. In this dream I was at work and on the carpet was a name handwritten in the carpet. I didn’t know anyone by that name, so I figured that this person was going to replace me. I did what I thought I should do; I prayed for that person.
Upon moving here to Tennessee my husband had told me that he wanted me to pursue those things that the Lord has laid on my heart (for years) to do; write and dedicate more to ministering to women. Up to this point it has been more of a one on one ministering. Trusting God as I met with women (young women) in the MI prison. I learn to allow God to do navigating for their healing. It was wonderful, HE always gave me the words to say, and I learned so much from these beautiful young ladies. I was truly blessed.
It’s been nine weeks since the move and I am in the process of writing my book; The reason why I feel the need for pregnancy centers (this is not the title). I am sharing my personal story of my first pregnancy at the age of 15. I was hidden, not educated or consoled. I didn’t know how to deal with my emotions or even what was going on with my body.
As I was finishing the first draft, I was trying to find resources for the ‘birth mom’ reader that would support her in the process of healing. My story goes far beyond this…but long story short, the Lord walked me through some healing that no one knew I had to walk through. I felt confused and alone – I want to help those birth mothers out there find healing, support and maybe even a map to the process the emotions instead of stuffing (knowing of course it is ultimately the Lord God that walking along side of them).
Anyhow after several attempts to find something I came across a book by: Lindsay Arielle, How a Birth Mom Healed; a Dairy. I then Googled her name and found that she writes a blog article for an adoption agency. I ended up emailing her to see if she was a part of, or knew of, a ministry for birth moms. I shared that I would defiantly want to be a part of the ministry.
After I sent the email, I of course journaled about it because I was pretty excited! However, I was more excited once I hand wrote her name in my journal because as I did, I realize that was the very name I had a dream about three months prior.
It’s been my heart to minister to women, especially birth moms. I am in my early fifties and I know that there is a lot of women (like myself) that have stuffed their past deep inside that it has become a faint memory, a bad dream. Pushing those memories, thoughts, and emotions down each time they worked their way to the surface.
When I became a Christian I was striving to be that ‘new creation’ I was told I would be, by cutting my past out. I have since realized that that isn’t want Father God wants. HE wants to heal our past. The ‘new creation’ is HIM and me – us – we. Holy Spirit working through me.
To my surprise the author contact me and told me that she has been praying for someone to come alongside of her to help create a curriculum (if you will) for women to walk through to find Healing. To have someone to talk with, to bounce ideas, ultimately to help carry out her vision, our vision.
I’ll never forget those feeling that I had the moment I realized that this is a gift to me. I was completely surprised, amazed, and thrilled! I’ve never experienced that before in my life. The moment that I realized that this person’s name is the same name that I had dreamed about, and the possibility of being a part of something bigger than me. That I can pursue my heart’s desire… healing for birth moms, healing for all women and men. I’m just amazed how much Papa God truly wants to give us gifts (our hearts desires). He has so many surprises that HE has in store for us.
Psalms 37:4 Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.
Think of it this way; We as parents love to surprise our children with the things that they deeply desire. And when we able to give these gifts, we get so much pleasure watching them ‘open’ these gifts. I could almost feel the Father God’s delight as I realized the gift that HE has given me. HE is such a loving Father, and I am thankful every day for all the blessings HE bestows on me and my family.