Being understood

Have you ever experienced that moment when that special person you are close to, understands you? When you think to yourself; ‘wow they get me’ and it is forever etched in your heart.

It could be shown in a small gift this person got for you that reminded them of you. Or it could be a simple returned phone call when you left a brief ‘hi, hope you’re doing well’ message on another person’s voicemail.

I will never forget when my daughter in law told me; “I understand you better now that I have read your book.” After she said that we probably had the longest conversation we have ever had before. I cannot tell you how much that blessed me.

There is nothing wrong with us wanting to know that we are valued in a relationship, especially when we are conversing with each other.

We all want to be understood when we communicate, but let’s face it – it is hard.  With all the different ways that we have available to interact with each other, it is sometimes difficult to understand what the other person is saying.

Add in the fact we all have different ‘hearing aids’ in how we perceive what is being said; meaning our experiences [past] affects the way we hear, it can be exhausting to have a conversation.

I am not going to lie; these last few weeks has been a struggle for me in this area. Trying to maneuver in a discussion mentally and emotionally when past scars are being exposed is extremely tough. You want to believe the person you are speaking with is ‘for you’ and not against you, but then suddenly a sharp twinge snags your heart, instantly the walls go up. We go into protective mode, trying to keep ourselves from being hurt, again.

I have been on both sides of ‘miscommunication’ with different people in my life, who I would like to say are close to me.  I have misinterpreted what was said because of my past pain; pulling a piece of what was spoken, it placed in the context of a very painful past.

It is amazing how those things can instantly sting, and you find yourself losing the solid ground you once had your feet on.

And I also have been misunderstood because of another person’s painful past. And I am not going to lie, it does hurt to have someone misjudge our motives in the things that we say.

But being on both sides of this common misfortune [being misunderstood] I have gotten some insight of how Father God might have a saddened heart in how we have misjudged Him and His love toward us.

There are many ways that God speaks to us, here are a few ways that he does: He can speak to us in our sleep [Samuel], in a whisper [Elijah], or through our dreams [Joseph]. God can speak to us through other people.  

Just today I had someone share with me; ‘The past few days, out of the blue several people have mentioned this one particular thing to me, and they don’t even know that that has been on my mind.’ 

And God speaks to us through His word; The Bible. And when we pull a piece out of context and place it in the middle of our past pain, or circumstance we may be experiencing now, we can easily misjudge what God is trying to communicate. Coupled with how we have been mistreated by those who ‘love’ us we can harshly assume; God is going to hurt me, and then we put up walls for protection.

I have three beautiful children who are married to equally beautiful people. And I cannot tell you how my heart grows with undescribed joy when they believe, beyond a doubt, that I am ‘for them’ and want to see them succeed in the things they are passionate about. I love to watch them grow in their confidence, step out in their dreams and see them soar with the eagles. I want them to know that they are important to me when they talk; listening to understand them.

Yes, I might need to improve in our communication skills, but that is only done by having those conversations.

I know God feels the same way too. He wants us to know that he is ‘for us’ not against us. That he loves watching us grow and loves loves loves us having conversations with HIM.

I want to encourage you, draw close to HIM and understand HIS heart. When we examine Jesus ‘ life we can see how God loves: scripture says Jesus only did what he saw His Father [God] in heaven do. Jesus was always loving people.

I know it is hard to trust when we have been hurt, but I pray that you will know, beyond a doubt, That GOD loves you.


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