Another Form of Pride

I have been going to the doctors a lot here lately – just trying to find answers of why I feel the way I do. There are certain symptoms that I experience at all times and then there are some that I experience irregularly. It is enough to drive one batty; I have even started to believe that it might just be all in my head. But my sister in law, who is a nurse, has assured me that it isn’t. She has seen me when I have felt my worse and agrees that there is something going on.

With the many different symptoms that I have it is hard to pin point on area to look, it seems that the doctors pick the most expensive tests to do first – when a simple blood “work up” might just show root to some of the problems. But that is another subject for another time. At least I have met my deductable.

And to make it more fun for me, I also have had those routine exams, which threw me a curve ball when it came back abnormal. At first I wasn’t bothered by it, just kind of figured the mammogram technician did get a good enough view, that maybe I moved or something. But when I went back in they assured me that something was revealed and they wanted to do more views. Then they wanted to do an ultra sound which confirmed there is a “spot” on my left breast. By the time I left that second appointment I was all shook up, and maybe even scared.

I went into work and tried to make it through day without thinking about it too much. First off – needles scare me and even though I didn’t want to think the worse I found my mind drifting that way. I had to pull my thoughts together – line them up with the word of God.

Philippians 4:8 whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.

Not what ever is false (not sure of), what ever is scary – that brings fear, what ever is without hope, whatever is unpleasant, what ever is unworthy, if anything is poor or blameworthy – think about such things.

It was rough but got threw the day – I just want to say a lot of mercy was extended to me too and I am very grateful.

The next morning Bob and I were talking and he told me what his boss had shared with him about the experience he and his wife went through, it was all very encouraging, but I was upset with Bob for sharing what was going on. He just told me that I was being silly, the more people lifting us up in prayer the better. And that I was being unreasonable.

I thought about it most of the morning. I didn’t know if I wanted people to know that I have been going through some things in my life that would require prayer. I have no problem listing my pray requests for my family and friends but not me.

Why? I have no clue, because I am far from having it all together and that I need lots of prayers.

So this morning when Bob and I got to church (Crystal Valley Missionary Church) I had a thought in the back of my head that Bob has told everyone about what was going on and they would all want to pray with me as soon as I walked in.

But, it didn’t happen that way. No one, in fact, mentioned it. Which made me feel like maybe it wasn’t that big of a deal that I had to have more testing done. Then during service Pastor Chris was talking about “unpacking” our stuff. Those things that God keeps bring up that we haven’t dealt with.

When the pastor closed in prayer I heard God say that I had pride. Then He asked me a few things; “Why don’t you want people to pray for you? If you do have someone pray with you – it is only a few chosen ones. Do you think that if you sufferer and walk through this alone that you will have more of a testimony? No, Georgia, you have pride. Get rid of it and let my people pray with you.”

Wow- that put some prospective on things for me, God was right I only have a few pray for me for certain things but the “big” things I tend to keep to myself. I guess I don’t ask because I don’t want to sound like I am weak or too needed. As soon as I confessed my pride to God and told him that I do want people to pray for me – a couple that has never prayed with me before came up and said; “I don’t normally do this but I felt that God wanted me to pray for you.” What an awesome God we have! To correct us and love on us all the same time.

Remember this, when we ask for prayer it isn’t that we are weak or too needed, we open the door for God to work through others to minister to us.

With all this said – I humble myself and ask that you would lift me up in your prayers on Thursday March 10 when I go in for more testing.

Thank you and God Bless.

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