In Bible study this past week I learned about PEACE and was reminded of some things that I known but had forgotten. Rediscovering Gods word in this area I come to realize that I had lost my peace, with worry and fear. All along I have been telling myself that I have peace and that I trust God with all things, but I was only fooling myself, because in my head I was still worrying about the little things that I felt was my responsibility to worry about.
Silly! I know because the Word says not to worry (Matthew 6:-34) it doesn’t add one day to your life. In fact I believe worry and stress can take away from your life. If not shorten your life it does take away the quality of life that your living. I remember back a few years ago I really believed that if I didn’t worry about things I was being irresponsible and that I didn’t care. What a lie from the enemy! We have concerns but we are to take those concerns to the Lord and leave it there, trust HIM to work it out.
Somewhere down the road I started picking up those small packages of worry, holding on to it gently as if they were a fine crystal glass, very carefully I have been carrying it around. And of course I can’t just have one crystal glass, I need a whole set. I found other things to worry about that tie into the one. You know how it plays out in our heads; “if this happens then that will happen, and what about that over there.” Yeah a whole set of worries. Where’s my peace? Gone!
Don’t get me wrong, I really believe I have grown a lot in trusting God these past 3-4 years and I have found peace in the mist of the most difficult times. Like when I had indescribable peace when Bob, my husband, was unemployed for over a year and we almost lost our house. I just knew beyond a shadow of doubt that we would be okay, I didn’t know how it would turn out but knew we would be okay.
But here I am, not sure how I got here, I lost my peace and maybe my joy too. I guess with me looking for that “perfect” time in my life; I am missing out on life. It is kind of like when I keep thinking in the back of my mind that Bob and I will plan a trip to the Caribbean when I can look perfect in a swim suit. Ah! Yeah! That might never happen- looking “perfect” in a swim suit. But does that mean that I don’t want to ever go to the Caribbean?
God knows my hearts desires and He also knows what I am fearful of. But I guess I have been looking for a way to “tweak” my life – change things a little bit here and a little bit there, I would have peace and I could walk out in the things that God has for me.
Really! Who do I think I am? God knows the plans HE has for me. He can see the big picture. I need to let HIM be God over my life. I pray; “Your will be done,” but yet I keep trying to make it my will.
So to find peace again in my life I am going to just get back to the basics! First, I need to remember my joy, that my name is written in the Lambs book of life. How wonderful is that! Second, I need to trust that God sees and knows all things. ALL THINGS! Nothing happens to a hair on my head that HE doesn’t already know about. HE knows the plans for me and HE is working those things out beyond my realm of understanding. TRUST!!
And third, I need to dig back into my word and allow HIM to show me things. I can’t explain the wonderful PEACE and JOY I have when I receive knowledge from reading my scriptures, when GOD gives me new understanding.
I am sure I will find myself again on this road of worry (because it sneaks into our lives so easily) but I pray that I won’t travel miles down it before I realize that I am lost.