Teaching me a lesson.

This morning, during my quiet time, I was thinking of this new journey (tuning my hearing) I am on, I asked the Lord. Are you teaching me a lesson, not in a ‘bad’ way but in a good sense?

Me just making that sort of comment. I thought, what does “teach you a lesson” mean? I looked things up on Urban Dic. It is awful; the stuff I read is very brash. I looked at other websites, too, but my eyes began to strain, so I stopped.

I then heard in my heart: There isn’t one thing you will miss; you will learn all you need. It isn’t about learning a lesson, but it is an equipping. I am equipping you.

For me, to write something without researching is intimidating. My writing will be rawer than before because it is the true stirrings of my heart; thus, I am more exposed.

Maybe my “researching” hindered my ability to listen to what God was saying in my heart. Perhaps reading what others had to say has hampered my ‘hearing ‘in those conversations initiated by Holy Spirit.

But maybe this is what is needed; perhaps this is what the Lord wants. In the past, my “researching” would take up much of my time, confusing my original revelation.

Please understand me; research is good, especially when searching in scripture, but without Wisdom from Holy Spirit, it is still just human interpretation.

My personality, I want to get things right and get an A on my test. But with that mindset, I think I am wrong about many things. I may not seem that way, but this is how I feel. This process has kept me from writing things that Trinty and I have discussed over the years.

Researching takes time, and with the busy calendar I tend to keep, I must ask: how many conversations have I left the room before true revelation was given to me? And walking out of the room (per se) only confuses my mind even more.

Because I have the world’s view on a matter and Wisdom is trying to show me another perspective, I become intimidated to speak and put the conversation on the shelf. Afraid to voice these perspectives without ‘backing it up’ with research has kept me quiet on many things. 

Today, the way our culture sees things or even defines words has, in my belief, affected the way we communicate with each other and understand scripture.

Unfortunately, when we try to come together as a society to communicate about issues in our communities, we each use a different dictionary, so to speak, because we do our research. And as many different answers we can get for the same question, we approach things in this matter.

Chaos begins to stir, pride gets in the way, and the next thing we know, there is a room full of puppets, and the puppeteer (Satan) is pulling all the strings. Nothing gets accomplished, and the wall offense becomes reinforced, making it harder to get a breakthrough.

So, as I am in this equipping journey, I have to stop straining my eyes, harken in with my ears to what Holy Spirit is saying, and step out. I pray that we can learn to do this; I believe it will be vital in the days ahead. 

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