I struggle for years that I wasn’t good enough and was a person that didn’t have what it takes. This mindset has really stopped me in the pursuing things that I am passionate about or to even try new things.
Thinking that I lacked in skill, talent or the education may come to a surprise to the people that know me, but it is true. When I was a young child I would measure myself to what I saw (perceived) in other children. They had fine clothes, nice homes, and were favored by everyone they encounter (peers / adults).
I also believed what was said about, and spoken directly to me. I walked the hallways of high school believing I lacked in the ability to learn as well. Heck! I was told that I would be lucky to graduate, so setting my goals to be on the Honor Roll was something I never set my sights on. This sort of mindset flooded to all areas of my life as I grew older.
My journey with Papa God has been a life time I am sure. However, it wasn’t until I was in my mid thirty’s that I started to understand that my thinking did not line up with what my Bible said about me. Learning that my identity in Jesus goes beyond where I am going to spend all eternity has given me freedom to dream. To inspire to do great things for the Kingdom of God.
Over the past few years Papa God has shown me the banquet table. Now you might be asking yourself; what does she mean God showed her? I mean that the Lord showed me the image of the banquet table in my minds eye.
It wasn’t even something that I had thought of for me. Yes, I’ve heard many great teachings on the banquet table, but this was a personal experience. God was giving me a clearer understanding, and, has shown me this image several times now. Each time HE showed me a different aspect of the table as HE dropped a question in my heart.
What I first learned. It was when I was out jogging the beautiful area of Tennessee. I suppose my heart was pondering the ‘abundant life’ and what that might look like. Just minding my own business as I ran and prayed for my community. I was enjoying the beautiful rolling hills and the warmth of the sun as it started to glow stronger. Then suddenly I saw it (the banquet table) and I gasped with amazement. It was grand! HUGE!
Then I heard (dropped inside my heart); “Do you see it Georgia? Everything has been provided, it is all there, and you can have whatever you want. EAT!” I became so emotional and the tears of gratitude rolled down my cheeks as I made my way back home.
The second time the Lord brought me to the banquet table I saw even more food. And in an instant, I had a thought run through my head; ‘How do I prepare all that? The timing to have everything done at the same time is overwhelming!’ Then I heard: “Georgia, you do not have to do anything, it is already done for you. You do not have to perform, work, or strive. Just rest in me.”
This last time, it was when I was driving into work. Again, Papa God dropped the vision in my minds eye. HE asked me again; “What do you see Georgia?” Then suddenly I saw a dish that I had only eaten once (that I can remember) but enjoyed the flavors. It was probably the most unique dish that I had ever had up to that point of my life. Dolmathakia (dol-mah-THAN-kya) or stuffed grape leaves. I didn’t even know that I craved this dish. But there it was. I thought to myself; ‘ah yeah, I liked those – how did you know that I was hungry for those, Lord?’ Then I heard Papa God say; “I have provided everything. Things that you didn’t even know you could have, or that you are hungry for. There is so much more than what you see now.”
The Sunday following this last “banquet table encounter” I was at church and the message was on Saints Communion. Outlined by the revelation that a church member received and was elaborated on by our pastor. It was beautiful, because after the message we sat together and participated in ‘doing’ what was taught.
The whole time the message was being delivered, and, the demonstration of walking it out was being filtered through these encounters with Papa God. Many things about the message was good however it was the scripture reference Hebrews 5:11-14 that was most highlighted to me.
The “more” that the Papa God showed me…
Those things that I am “hungry” for that I didn’t even know I was craving…
I believe in my heart I will find them here. The very church that started this journey over 30 years ago. I am home! And it is great to feel like a part of a family again.
Thank you, Father God, I know you guide my steps! I know you provided everything! And I know it is not in my ‘doing’ it is in my ‘being’ a child of yours!