“I don’t want to do the things that I have done in the past to numb myself because I really need to feel this pain right now, to get on the other side of this and become the person that God wants me to be.”
These words rang so true within my own soul as my daughter was saying them to me. Yes I have pain, it is a pain that I have felt for years but been too afraid to acknowledge it, but I can’t deny the pain anymore. The numbing will only cause me to go in the opposite direction that God wants me to go, and prevent me to walk out those purposes that He has designed me to do.
I am thankful that God has given me the opportunity to face these things that have caused me pain over the years, by opening the door of communication. I was ready to throw it all away – give up – even forfeit the things that HE has for me, because of this pain. But God is in the business of resurrecting, restoring, and reshaping lives. God has reminded me that I am His daughter and He is not going to let me go.
We all go through painful times in our lives and we each handle it in different ways. Usually we find ways to numb out that pain but that doesn’t get us through it, it just puts another layer of scares on our heart. God does not want us to live this way – He gave us Life – John 10:10…I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
I need to remember that God is with me when I am feeling this pain, He has not abandon me. I am no longer going to numb it out, run away or deny it. My healing can only begin once I can acknowledge the pain and let God work His restoring miracle in my life.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.