The Little Green Monster – me

Those of you that are familiar with my husband Bob and I – know we had an exciting weekend last Saturday.   Bob was interviewed by the Elkhart Truth about a month ago and they finally ran the story.  Front page of the Life section.  Our phones didn’t stop ringing; people were calling me asking me how it felt to be married to a hometown celebrity or telling me how awesome the story was, and it was.

But every time his phone or mine rang I got greener and greener with envy.  To be honest I was whining inside to myself. “What about me? I had to have faith too during that time; sometimes I had to have it for the both of us.  Is anyone running a story on me?  No!”

Again those of you that know me know, that I can not hide my emotions, I wear them right out there for everyone to see – it is very embarrassing especially when my behavior is so so wrong.

I knew that I had to deal with it, so I had time Sunday morning to reflect and try to get in the right frame of mind before going to church – again I wear my emotions on my sleeves  for all to see, and I didn’t want everyone at church to know that I was…Jealous.

It was one of those rare Sundays that we did not need to be at church early so I had a few hours – and trust me, I needed a few more because once we got to church realized I was in in trouble.  Everyone at church was patting Bob on the back and telling him what an awesome testimony he had.

I thought that I had killed that little green monster inside me, but no it was still there. Trying hard to keep those emotions in check I had to focus on other things.  It is embarrassing to say that I couldn’t be happy for my husband.  It was hard for me to center my thoughts in on the Pastors message.

Isn’t awesome how God can speak to us through our Pastors!

Pastor Chris talked about the “pruning the branches” and that God is the master gardener. John 15:1-4

God started talking loudly to me in my spirit.   First off, He reminded me that if He thought that I needed any kind of encouragement and “pats” on the back He would not have withheld them from me, in fact of the matter I have gotten a lot of encouragement and affirmation.  But this was for Bob! God wanted to encourage Bob and let him know He was pleased with him.

Boy – was I feeling like a poop head!  God went on to say that I have some issues that He needed to work through with me – pride, and jealousy just to name a few.  That HE need to trim some of my branches that are not bearing fruit. Pruning!  God confronted me and asked; “Did you not say that you wanted to be a part of my will – the seen and the unseen? Is it about you getting glory or me? You need to dig deep and be honest and answer WHY this bothers you? I see all, I know what you have endured and I also see Bobby’s heart more clearly than you do.”

God said many things to me last Sunday and then Pastor ended his message by saying this. “I don’t want to take advantage of the Grace given to me and that is what I am doing when I know I am sinning.” Or something like that…

Well if I wasn’t feeling totally convicted before I was then.  I wish I would have behaved properly and been the wonderful wife that I sometimes believe I am – allowing my husband to have his moment without making him feel unworthy or bad for me.

So with that all said – I would like it if you to go to this link and enjoy the story that ran last Saturday in the Elkhart Truth.  And please post all your wonderful comments and encouraging words you would like to say to my hometown celebrity – my husband, Bob.

I am so proud of him.

If your not able to just click on this link just copy and paste into your address bar.


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