I tried to stay busy with my Saturday morning chores to push out the negative thoughts that beat at my mind so hard it is like a loud bonging that distracts my concentration on anything good.
Finally after struggling I just broke down and cried to my Lord God and said: “This ache that I am experiencing hurts so bad, but I got to believe that once I get on the other side of this, Your glory Lord, will out shine any agony that I am suffering now.”
Then I got an email from a very special friend of mine, reminding me that just because I declare that I am a Christian I am not shouting that I am perfect, living a clean life, bold and full of confidence.
I am whispering that:
I have failed and need God to clean my mess.
I am weak and need His strength.
I am confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.
And that I am a simple sinner who received God’s good grace.
Those words were a life line thrown to me in the mist of my storm of despair. Again I found myself at the cross, confessing my heart; “Why am I so unhappy Lord? What is this all about, why am I going through this struggle within me?”
God then reminded me of my passion, my heart desires. My vision has gotten cloudy because I have let the enemy tell me that I am inadequate, and it is true, I am inadequate but I have forgotten a few things:
Who created me with a purpose before I was even born, God.
Who said that He would lift me up on eagle’s wings, God.
Who said He would never leave me or forsake me, God.
Who said that He would be my strength in my times of my struggles, God.
I have made my thoughts stop running – to take a moment and look back on the people that have crossed my path the past 24 hours. Some of them have encouraged me and also some have confronted me. The enemy would love for me to run and hide because of shame and embarrassment. Or, to have me brush off the encouraging words as empty words spoken to just flatter me with no real meaning.
But as I stop and really reflect- God is placing these people in my path, it is not by coincidences. I have received true appreciation from several women yesterday, thanking me for my honesty in my writings that they have read on my website or in my book. Another woman told me that my prayer said on her behalf has encouraged her. And last, I was told by another person: “God has a hold of you!” He said it to me as a definite statement not to be mistaken. God has a hold of me!
And to top all it off this morning God directed me to this verse:
1 Peter 4:12-13
Dear Friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.
Can you believe this! I cried out this morning almost these exact words!
I am amazed of His love for me! I feel as if God is saying to me, Yes my daughter you have made some mistakes but keep your eyes on me, little one, and I will lead you to the place I want you.
I have said many times before to look for the diamonds in your day, that our heavenly Father is giving us little ones and big ones to encourage us. I have forgotten to look for mine but it is true, HE is handing these diamonds down to me from heaven, I just need to take them. God is so good, and His love is indescribable.
So today, I want to remind you as God has reminded me, look for the diamonds in your day! Write them down. And once you start to write them all down you will see that that God has not forsaken us, He is standing right there next you and me.