I want to be open and honest with my readers, and I don’t have it all together. And I sincerely hope I don’t convey in my writings as I do. Most of the time, my blog writings are just me processing, with Papa God, something in my life.
Today I am writing about pride and jealousy that I have allowed to simmer in the corner of my heart.
I’ve mentioned before; my busyness prevents me from processing. Like when I am quickly cleaning the kitchen and throwing useless items in the junk drawer to give the appearance of countertops being clean. Once that junk drawer is crammed with so much stuff, it is no longer functional; I go through it only to find that most of the items could have been thrown away.
Today, I looked around my office, which desperately needs to be organized, and I told myself, STOP making yourself busy.
So, I stopped. I honestly looked. I asked Father God, what is this darkness that is trying to hide? I listened. I repented. I asked HIM to fill that area with the truth.
I have a distorted perspective and don’t know when or where it began. What might this viewpoint be? I believe that I possess wisdom that would help others walk through spiritual battles they are going through. Wow, how arrogant of me.
Yes, I have gained experience when I have gone through battles of my own. And though my battles may not be the same scenarios as others, I have gained tools of understanding that can help assist others. However, it is truly a training that Father God, Lord Jesus, and Holy Spirit lead a person through.
I often pray for individuals to encounter the Trinity because that is where true transformation occurs. I see this always; people with personal experience have powerful testimonies encouraging another to step out in faith. We each possess these experiences and what we go through. And each piece of knowledge gained is as unique as our fingerprint.
So why? Why would pride and jealousy creep into my thinking? It boils down to what I believe my value is worth. Can I prove to others that I am worth having in their lives? Honestly, this has been a battle I have been dealing with since I was a young girl.
What others think about me doesn’t matter – my value is worth Jesus dying for. So why do I get entangled with the chains of self-worth? Because I have an enemy that wants to steal it.
I think of my mother, who recently passed away. I am not sure if she understood how much she was loved. That we, her children, wanted her to be around us.
And somehow, my beliefs got distorted; if I had a good relationship with my mom, my children would want a relationship with me. And now that I can no longer build that relationship with my mother, I somehow believe the doors have been shut on me with my children.
I have no ‘titles,’ so to speak, nor do I possess significant amounts of money; I am just me: Georgia. And it surprises me that I am turning 58 years old and still looking for value.
So, you see, my pride in thinking I possess wisdom that others would want and envy that someone would gain expertise without my help all boils down to what I believe I am worth.
My competition leads to division. Self-imposed, maybe. The enemy of our soul does not care how it happens, but his goal is to divide families, communities, cities, states, nations, and on and on.
As I have processed this, I see a candle in my mind’s eye.
One little candle burning, and if I take my candle to try to light another one far away, my flame grows dim, and maybe it even goes out.
Think about this – when you have a candle in your hand and move to another room to light another candle, a person has to protect the flame so that it will not go out.
But if the candle lights the room it is in, not worrying about lighting the other candle, it serves its purpose. Lighting the area, it is in.
I hope you can follow the analogy that was given to me by Papa God. Lighting up the address where I reside provides light to the person next to me to find their candle. God does the lighting and the victories they gain by allowing the Trinity to equip them.
I am not by no means saying that a person needs only to worry about themselves. We reach out and help those who are hurting. We are to accept those who are rejected. We must always keep our LOVE (God) glasses on and see from HIS perspective.
Unity – that is what it is about. We understand our value from HIS perspective. We are valued and loved, and when we come together, we can light up our communities, locking arms with one another to be what God has designed us to be – HIS FAMILY.
I end this blog piece by lighting my little area – whether it be my website, those who read it, my neighborhood, and places I go; I am letting my one glowing light shine – and it is enough; I have value.