You know how I said that I would blog my thoughts as I march forward in this walk of faith of mine? “Some steps are sure footed and boldly marching forward! Some steps are timid and hesitant as if I am walking on thin ice. And at times my pace comes to a complete halt due to fatigue and discouragement.”
For the past (maybe) four months I have been in a fog of discouragement, really! Every time I get up and move forward, I get slammed down hard – not physically. It might be someone’s words to me -negative/harsh/or even judgmental, it might be a memory that becomes uncovered like a piece of beach glass that all the sudden appears on the sand after waves of water keep hitting that same spot over and over and over again. Or my discouragement can come from my awareness of the sin in my life.
Whatever the reason, I don’t understand how I can be so confident in encouraging another person but be so lost in my own grief. Does this make me a hypocrite? Do I believe and have faith for others but not myself? Am I self centered thinking that my problems are too big for God but your problems are manageable for Him? Do I need to be medicated? Just joking…
No, I really only know one way to climb out of this pit I keeping finding myself in. It is through worship; this is how I climbing out yet again. When I am singing I have to visualize my Lord loving on me. He reminds me that HE really does love me for the simple fact that I am His “Georgia girl.” He knows me better than I know myself. It is sometimes so hard for me to comprehend His dedication to me, and my prayer would be that I can be as dedicated to HIM.
I will get through this, because God is showing me things, it isn’t to hurt me; it is to heal me, to make me more complete in Him. I have ran in the past when He has tried to reveal things to me, but it doesn’t get me no where, just lost even more.
So if you find yourself in a pit of discouragement may I suggest worshiping God? Visualize His love flowing down from the heavens washing over you. And when He does slowly reveal things to you, maybe hurtful things of your past don’t run or push the thoughts back down. Let God do His thing- heal you. I am in the mist of it now myself, and as much as I want to run, I know I will be a better person (a person with peace) staying right where I am, in HIS arms.