Good deed for the day

‘Well I guess you did your good deed for the day. Thank you.’

This is what a woman said to me one day as I was leaving the store. Truthfully I was thinking of going out the other door because she was walking slowly and I was in a hurry. As I watched her struggling with a loaded down cart I thought this lady needs to look where she is going. She kept looking down at her feet as she was trying to make her way to the store exit. So I looked down at her feet, only to realize that this woman was obviously in some major pain. It broke my heart that I had selfish thoughts of being ‘in a hurry’ moments before.

Remembering a lesson I learned a few years back (blog titled; Three Unselfish Moments) about being in a hurry I chose to walk ‘patiently’ behind her. As she got to the door I asked her if she would like me to hold it open (the doors were not automatic). She looked up at me and smiled and said ‘that would be helpful.’ However, as she pushed her cart over the door threshold, items started to fall out of her basket. So of course I helped her pick them up. That’s when she looked up at me and said; ‘Well I guess you did your good deed for the day, thank you.’

I watched this lady a little longer to make sure she didn’t have any more problems getting to her car. Once I was sure that she was going to make it just fine, I thought about her words. ‘Good deed for the day.’ What an awful thought. Does a person only have ‘one’ good deed in them a day? No, I think not. What would our world look like if we would do more than fill the ‘one a day’ quota? I mean, what if we just helped people when we have the opportunity to help them. Quit always thinking about our ‘own’ agenda and bless someone. You never know, just maybe God has placed you in a certain situation that you can easily bless another human being. Like holding open a door.

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Following my Goose

It was 2010 when the eyes of my imagination began to open. I had just finished another one of Mark Batterson’s books; ‘Wild Goose Chase’ when I felt that God was calling me to share my testimony of His goodness. And even though I didn’t know what that looked like, I have been trying to be faithful in doing that one thing – share my testimonies. In Batterson’s book it talks about how following after God is not boring, it isn’t about sitting in church on Sunday morning. It is about following ‘his’ lead in our lives. Since then I have asked God to ‘lead’ me by showing me a goose.

This is what I would often pray on my lunch hour when I went to walk. As silly as this sounds I often notice flocks of geese fly across the horizon and secretly ask; Lord are your wanting me to follow? Or hear a goose ‘honking’ in the far off distance and ask; are you calling me Lord? Over time the hunt for my ‘goose’ had been forgotten, occasionally I would ask God for a goose but it wasn’t my daily prayer. My prayer walk over lunch became a time to intercede for others in my life, or simply reflect on the struggles that I was experiencing to see what I was to learn from them.

I was standing faithful to the verse that was given to me in 2004 Psalms 37:4 -delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. I trusted God that He had not forgotten about my dreams. I tried to stay disciplined in my devotional time each morning and when I felt discouragement I reminded myself of Ephesians 2:10 – For we are God’s workmanship created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which he has prepared in advance for us to do. My heart is to minister and encourage others, showing people the hope we have in God. I try walking that out in my life daily, I might not be on a pulpit preaching and teaching but I want to show people around me love and compassion just as Christ did. I sometimes fall short of achieving this however I am so thankful for God’s mercy.

Each time I started to jump into another position or leave my job all together I would sense that was God saying ‘not yet’. I didn’t even know what I was to look for in a job. I just knew that I wanted to continue to write, encourage people, and share my testimony of God’s goodness and faithfulness to me and my family. Really, what kind of job is that? As I found out writing and publishing a book is hard and costly, especially when you are doing it by yourself. Then to promote the book, how does one do that? My thoughts would often have me running and hiding back in my little corner –just being the front desk girl. But deep down inside I felt I was letting God down. How can He get the glory in my life if I am not willing to step out of the ‘boat’?

As another birthday was quickly approaching I became a bit frustrated. It didn’t help that I experienced the most stressful day at work; actually it was pretty hectic all that week. I was exhausted mentally and emotionally and I shared my frustrations with my husband on the phone on evening driving home from work. I was angry and discouraged all at once. I felt that I need to move- but move where? Maybe I was to just quit my job all together. I didn’t know what to do.

The next day at lunch before I got out of my car to walk I prayed in desperation asking God for a sign. I got real specific just like Gideon did when he asked God for a sign (Judges 6:36-40). ‘GOD if you want me to move- please put a goose in my path today. I was trying hard to focus ahead on my path. I didn’t want to search high in the sky or out in the field somewhere for my goose. I prayed specifically for a goose to be on my route that I walk everyday. Well God answered my prayer; there he was, my goose, sitting there on my path with a dead dandelion weed in his mouth. He was so close to me it startled me. Then I thought well he is kind of goofy looking with a weed in his mouth. Is this really my sign? I started to blow it off as just a coincidence – however remembering how God got me to open the adoption files 5 days before Lisa, my daughter, wrote the courts to get information on me I started to think…
Well maybe this is God’s sign, it is a goose, and I did ask for a goose.

Still not totally convinced I walked back. Once I got into my car I decided to put in my CD of prayers that were prayed over me. I wanted to listen closely to it to see if I could get some clue of what I was to do. However when I put the CD in all I could hear was this noise from outside my car. I rolled down my window and stuck my head out only to find…TWO GEESE HOKING AT ME! They were walking up from behind the driver side of my car. Then they stopped and the one goose motioned his head as if to tell me to follow them. Then they ‘honked’ walking even closer to me, again the one goose motioned with his head and then they both flew off. I AM SERIOUS AS A HEART ATTACK!! THIS REALLY HAPPENED! I just started to bawl, I couldn’t believe it- I have been looking for a goose for two years! And here at my desperate hour of needing some sort of direction I get not just one goose but 3 geese!

In my heart I just knew that GOD wanted me to move- resign from my job- move on to the next chapter in my life. I was so excited I could have burst. I called Bob and told him what had happened however he sound as excited as me. Actually he didn’t say much of anything, I think he was letting everything I said sink in. I wanted to talk about it more once I got home, but after detecting Bob’s anxiety I decided against it. We both had a long week and thought it would be a good idea to wait until the next morning to talk about me leaving my job.

I got up early Saturday morning and had my devotions and pray time. I wanted to be obedient to God however I didn’t want to stress my husband out by quitting. I know God has a plan for both of us. Not wanting to make things harder on Bob by making him provide financially for us, I was broken and torn. I wanted to be obedient, yet I wanted to keep harmony in the household.

It was a few hours later when Bob got up and by his body language I could tell he was totally stressed. I assured him not to worry that I wasn’t going quit my job. He could hear my disappointed in my voice and it just tore him up. He hated telling me that financially we could not afford me to quit my job. It took us about 4 hours to work through our emotions where we were good again. I was still bit discouraged because I want to ‘chase my goose’ but went about my day as any other Saturday.

Sunday morning I got up early again to have my devotions and prayer time. I asked God to forgive me for my attitude and that I knew He has my destiny in His hands and that I will continue to praise Him for He is a good God. I basically gave myself an attitude adjustment. Remembering all the things that HE has done in the past for me and that He has it under control, I stopped worrying about it.

We had planned on going to the farm in Michigan to see Bob’s dad to surprise him. We felt it was a good time to do it because Bob didn’t have to play on the worship team. It was a beautiful Sunday morning and glad we decided to take the road trip. I asked Bob if he would buy a paper so that I could maybe look at the classified ads – I really didn’t know ‘what’ I was looking for but thought it sounded like a good idea.

Really now, how does one look for a job in ministry? Other than working at the church I go to, I just didn’t know what I was going to look for. I didn’t want to move into just any job, I wanted to position myself in a way that God could continue to stretch me and grow me into the person he has created me to be. I didn’t even know where to begin. I didn’t want the medical field anymore, or food service, and factory work is out. Don’t get me wrong I have worked in all these areas before and I am not above it; I just know that isn’t where God wanted to place me.

So I ask again, how does one look for a job in the area that I am looking. With no clue what I was looking for I opened the classifieds. Once I opened the paper there it was in big bold print Church World Service! I couldn’t believe it- I was stunned and excited all the same time! This is it, I told Bob. This is going to be the place where I am going to work! Bob then reminded me that his one friend’s wife works there. Needless to say I submitted my resume online once we got back home. In my spirit I just knew this was it! It was 18 long days before I heard from CWS asking me for an interview. It was a long interview and had to go through a conference type call as well, but God is good and I got offered the job. I took this new position because I felt this was where God wanted me to mold me into the women he created me to be. However because He is such a good God, my benefits are better than what I could have hoped for. We will be saving so much on the insurance alone, already I see so many blessings from this new job.

God has answered my prayers. He gave me the sign to move, even though I didn’t know what that looked like he guided me to this job. I don’t know what this next chapter of my life is going to be like. What new things will God teach me? How many new people will I learn from? What doors will open for me? I don’t know, but I am excited. I know and trust God has my destiny in His hands and It is all for His glory!

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Awakened

I was awakened early this morning and after tossing and turning for about 30 minutes I decide to get up. Slowly I walked into the kitchen peeking at the clock as my eyes adjusted to the light. Ugh! Really am I reading this clock right, then I looked over to the microwave to see what it read. Yep it is 4:30. Okay Lord, I thought to myself, I guess you want to show or teach me something.

I opened my kitchen drawer where I store all sorts of teas, and pulled out one of my favorite flavors and made myself a cup. I gathered up my bible and journal and set it at my own personal ‘burning bush’- the end of the kitchen counter. I know it’s weird that I do my devotions here in the kitchen when I have a beautifully designed office that my sweet husband created for me. But this is where I seem to really connect with God. In my office I have books lining the shelves that I love to read and I find that I sometimes get too distracted in there.

However the only distraction I seemed to be having this morning was our dog ‘Wiley’. She gets so excited in the morning and jumps up and down wanting to run outside to see what kind of mischief she can get into. After letting her outside and waiting for her to do her morning thing we both came inside. She found her spot and lied down in front of the bedroom door and I found my spot at the end of the kitchen counter.

Slowly I began to reflect on my week. Reading what I have wrote in my journal the days before helped me to focus my thoughts. I was reminded of Friday night when my husband’s worship team – Out of the Dust – played at Teen Challenged. To see those men search the word of God with all their hearts blessed me. I truly felt the Holy Spirit there even before the worship team even began to play. And as I watched and studied these men I had to ask myself; what kind of life did they have as a child? Did they feel loved unconditionally? Were they taught that they have value? Did anyone plant seeds of encouragement in them that they were designed for specific things?

The worship started, and the brokenness of these grown men made my heart just ache. I instantly wanted to ‘mother’ on each one of them but knowing that they are going through a disciplined program I didn’t want to disrupt that order. So quietly I just prayed for them. The message was delivered by a young man that is devoted to God I could see favor on him. His message was SO powerful and at the end I realized my own desperate dependency I have for the Lord and His mercy. I found myself wanting to go to the alter confessing my own pride. However again not wanting to interrupt what God was doing in the hearts of men kneeling there up front I sat at my seat in the back and quietly confessed to my Lord.

It was truly a blessing to be there Friday night however I didn’t know ‘why’ I was up at such an early hour this morning. Searching out a few scriptures and just being still I wasn’t getting any real ‘word’ from God. I was disappointed in myself thinking that I haven’t quiet myself enough, or missed the widow of opportunity when I was first awakened and laid there tossing and turning. So I positioned myself in prayer and just prayed to God how I wanted to always be conscious of Him and my dependency for His mercy. Most mornings when I pray I would intercede for family members or friends – but this morning I just kneeled quietly. Not sure really what I was to do, or learn I was just quiet. And that is when I heard God say; ‘I just wanted you to spend time with me that’s all. I am not upset with you; I don’t have any demands for you. I just wanted you to sit with me.’ That is when it hit me, growing up my dad would get upset and wake us kids up in the early morning and lecture us on how ‘bad’ we were. We would sit there for hours until his anger was calmed down and we were allowed to go back to our beds. With this sort of programing I had a small feeling that I must have done something wrong that God would wake me up so early. I went into my time with God with a sense of guilt thinking that I did something wrong but I couldn’t sense that there was this big thing that I needed to give to Him. Don’t get me wrong, I daily fall short of the Glory of God however once I realize the sin I quickly confess it to Him.

Then I thought of how I would want Bob my husband to just be with me. Not really wanting to talk about anything in particular I just wanted to be together. It is comforting just enjoying his company. This is what God was wanting from me- just to enjoy his company.

So the next time I am awaken early I will remember this feeling I have had this morning of contentment and peace. Not the uneasiness and fear that I felt when I was child being awaken in the early morning hours.

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Pages of my life

Have you ever thought what the pages of our life would read? I mean, are we giving testimony of God’s great love and compassion through our actions of each day? Writing words of victory as God help us through each storm of our lives. Or would the pages of our life read words of defeat, depression and despair? Even still, would the pages have harsh and mean words because things are not going our way? Unable to show love for one another as Christ did.

To tell you the truth I would have to say yes to all of the above. Some pages of my life are written on dull paper with not so nice words. However there are pages that are trimmed in gold and of the best quality paper. Those pages of gold trim are the days that I kept my eyes on heavenly things. Those are the days that I stand firm on the knowledge that my victory is in Jesus. Those are the days that I remember that even though things may not turn out like I want them to God has a better plan. Those are the day that I remember to have mercy and compassion on those around me as God has mercy and compassion on me.

My prayer would be that the pages of my life would have more pages with gold trim than without.

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Ripple Effect

Imagine with me walking down a hidden trail. Endless trees all around and the limbs branch out to the sky as if they are reaching to hold the sun. Some trees are covered with green leaves, some with pink petals, and some with purple blossoms. And as I look closer I notice soft little bunny tails popping out of the pussywillow branches. I am amazed as I start to notice all the different shades of
green,
pink,
yellow,
purple,
the colors are truly endless. I am at awed by God’s wonderful design. I find myself whispering; “Lord God you do creation so beautifully!”

Then I notice the sound of the gentle breeze moving throughout the forest. Tickling the honeysuckle, and lilac blossoms bring the sweet aroma to my nose. I take a breath in and let it out slowly. Ahh

In the far off distance I can hear a woodpecker picking away at a tree, the sound echo’s through the wooded area. As I continue down this trail I hear a bull frog on my left, then one on my right, and still another ahead of me. I have to wonder to myself, are they telling one another that I am there?

As I make my way down this trail I am lead to an open field covered with white and yellow daffodils. A part of me has a sense of sadness that no one else can see this beauty that my eyes behold. Though, I have think that maybe this secluded splendor was created for God to admire. How many times do we go past such beauty and never truly appreciate creation and/or the creator? I find myself again whispering; “Forgive us Lord.”

As I stroll even farther I notice a creek feeding into a pound up ahead. I start to feel excitement as I walk closer to the water. Like a little girl I start to skip as I imagine freeing my feet from the shoes that I have on and dipping my toes in the cool water.

I slowly slip my feet into the water and as I look down I see a flat, smooth rock. Picking it up I remember how I once skipped rocks across the water. I  then toss the stone giggling inside with delight.
One, two, three, four times it skips across the water. I watched the water ripple out at each point of contact in amazement that such a small rock could do that. Then I thought of all the people that I come in contact with each day. It may only be for a brief moment; then again I may be in their lives for several months, maybe even years.
And I have ask myself; am I a positive ripple in their lives? I got my answer.

A week ago I extended a simple act of kindness, not thinking it meant a whole lot. However the ripple effect returned to me today and I was truly blessed with the most beautiful Easter arrangement that I have ever received. That just goes to show you that you have no idea how your point of contact will impact the person that you extend kindness to. The ripple effect will bless you beyond words.

God is so good!

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