Boundaries

“Everyone has a perception – or image – on the inside of them of what they are like. This image is not necessarily based on facts but on feelings. One negative experience can distort a person’s perception of themselves for a lifetime.”  Andrew Wommack

For years, I had a distorted image of myself. Experiences, words spoken to me, as well as watching (perceiving) the world around me, had me believing so many lies. When I accepted the saving grace of God through the Blood of Jesus, I thought that I could cut out that ugly, horrible person I believed I was, but I always had her haunting me.

This book marks the beginning of a journey of inner healing that I am still navigating. Layer by layer, beliefs that once seemed unshakable in the Light of Christ are revealed as the lies they truly are. This journey is not a solitary one, but a shared experience of growth and transformation.

As I mentioned a few weeks ago, I have been busy with life, but also wrestling with my old thought patterns. We all find ourselves in those ruts of how we live our lives, when we aren’t paying attention to what we’re believing. Well, I suppose I should only speak for myself. You may have found total victory in not falling into those old dried-up paths of life.

I think of this ‘rut’ like a bicycle path that has been ridden on for many years. When the ground is moist, it leaves a groove, but when it is hot and dry, those grooves become hard, and the wheel of my life falls right into the path. As much as I try to steer out of the path, the tire still wants to ride into it.  

Late winter through this past month, our household has become noisier, not necessarily in a bad way; in many ways, it has filled my heart with joy. However, the weeks and months revealed to me that there is still a need for healing.

Finding myself as a puppet, with the puppeteer’s hands pulling my emotional strings. Now that things are quiet again in my life, the distraction of business has slowed down my thoughts. Asking Holy Spirit, ‘What do you want to show me? He revealed to me that I am afraid to set boundaries. 

Let me give you a little example. I am lovingly called Gigi by my beautiful grandchildren. I enjoy playing with them so much that I allow them to drain me of all energy, which isn’t good, especially since my body is recovering from Chemotherapy. Example: This past May, my daughter-in-law’s mom and I spent a week watching our granddaughters, and she lovingly said to me, “Georgia, if I weren’t here to be your boundary setter, you would probably be on the floor crawling around from the time the girls wake up to bedtime.”

It was true, I was thankful when Tami came in and said, now girls, you need to play by yourselves and give Gigi a break.

Why do I do this? Well, partly because I was a young mom, I was busy trying to prove to people around me that I deserved to be a mom and that I was a very good mom. I never allowed myself to stop and ‘play’ with my children growing up.

I regret that I couldn’t see that ‘playing’ with my children, instead of having all the chores done, house cleaned to the point that my son would take off his shoes at the door, walk them to the bathroom to wash the bottoms, pat them dry, and sit them at the door. Little extreme but then I thought that was how it should be.

Boundaries: I don’t know when or why I subconsciously thought if I put up boundaries I am not being loving. However, the reality is just the opposite. Boundaries do show love, maybe not to the person to whom boundaries are set. But over time, the person will understand and grow from them.

You know that God set boundaries in creation, as seen in the natural world, where He establishes the separation of light from darkness, water from land, and day from night. These separations are not merely physical, but serve to create a structured and harmonious world, by God’s intentional design.    Genesis 1:4

Boundaries for humanity, God set boundaries in the Garden of Eden, giving everyone free will. God wanted to see if humans could trust him enough to obey. Genesis 2:15-17

National and territorial boundaries are a part of God’s sovereign plan to maintain order among the nations and to fulfill His promise to Israel. Deuteronomy 32:8

Moral and ethical boundaries: The Ten Commandments serve as a foundational framework for behavior, guiding us in our relationships with God and one another. Exodus 20:1-17

Spiritual boundaries, in the New Testament, continue to play a crucial role in the life of believers. Many areas of the Bible discuss being careful about who we choose to influence our lives, such as companionship and counsel. Proverbs 13:20, 1 Cor 15:33, 2 Cor 6:14

However, boundaries need to be appropriately set. I am not saying that those who set boundaries to ‘punish’ another person, so to speak, are right if they use the boundary to manipulate another person. That is not right, it only creates more torment and destroys relationships.

Not that I am an expert in the area, as I am just now setting up these systems. Like telling my beautiful grandchildren that I can’t crawl on the floor all day to play with them, that I need to rest so I can continue to get stronger and keep up with them as they grow older.

Therefore, we recognize that boundaries are necessary in life. Let us each ask Holy Spirit to teach us how to set them in the loving way that God has designed.